by Joy Harjo
She had some horses.
She had horses who were bodies of sand.
She had horses who were maps drawn of blood.
She had horses who were skins of ocean water.
She had horses who were the blue air of sky.
She had horses who were fur and teeth.
She had horses who were clay and would break.
She had horses who were splintered red cliff.
She had some horses.
She had horses with eyes of trains.
She had horses with full, brown thighs.
She had horses who laughed too much.
She had horses who threw rocks at glass houses.
She had horses who licked razor blades.
She had some horses.
She had horses who danced in their mothers' arms.
She had horses who thought they were the sun and their
bodies shone and burned like stars.
She had horses who waltzed nightly on the moon.
She had horses who were much too shy, and kept quiet
in stalls of their own making.
She had some horses.
She had horses who liked Creek Stomp Dance songs.
She had horses who cried in their beer.
She had horses who spit at male queens who made
them afraid of themselves.
She had horses who said they weren't afraid.
She had horses who lied.
She had horses who told the truth, who were stripped
bare of their tongues.
She had some horses.
She had horses who called themselves, "horse".
She had horses who called themselves, "spirit", and kept
their voices secret and to themselves.
She had horses who had no names.
She had horses who had books of names.
She had some horses.
She had horses who whispered in the dark, who were afraid to speak.
She had horses who screamed out of fear of the silence, who
carried knives to protect themselves from ghosts.
She had horses who waited for destruction.
She had horses who waited for resurrection.
She had some horses.
She had horses who got down on their knees for any saviour.
She had horses who thought their high price had saved them.
She had horses who tried to save her, who climbed in her
bed at night and prayed as they raped her.
She had some horses.
She had some horses she loved.
She had some horses she hated.
These were the same horses.
Harjo's poem is a gorgeously depicted portrait of a life that has left a woman with an insurmountable pile of contradictory emotions and experiences. With both literal and metaphoric descriptions, Harjo uses the "horses" within the female speaker to relate these personal nuances. These feelings seem to revolve around a common struggle between fragility and strength, "destruction" and "resurrection," truth and lies, and love and hate.
The female speaker's persona is subtly evident throughout the poem but is broadly revealed in the lines that claim "She had horses who tried to save her, who climbed in her / bed at night and prayed as they raped her." However, while the voice of the poem is distinctly feminine, the horses she describes are not assigned to a specific gender. They seem to be spiritual relics of the speaker's soul and experiences and take on various meanings that are not necessarily male or female. They range from southwestern images, to liars, to shy introverts: "She had horses who were the blue air of sky," "She had horses who lied," "She had horses who were much too shy and kept quiet / in stalls of their own making." In this sense, the horses seem to be preserved emotions and memories that relate direct truths about the speaker. While the horses tend to be shrouded in metaphor, the ideas behind them are clear: the speaker is a woman who has perpetually struggled with her idea of self-worth, confidence, and identity. The contradictions she presents are evident in these back-to-back lines: the horses within her "spit at male queens who made / them afraid of themselves. /She had horses who said they weren't afraid." In nearly every stanza the speaker seems to bounce between the idea of being strong ("She had horses who thought they were the sun") and being weak ("She had horses who were much too shy"), being hidden ("She had horses who whispered in the dark, who were afraid to speak") and being revealed ("She had horses who called themselves, 'horse'").
The last lines of the poem condense this contradicting struggle into three short yet potent lines. By effectively labeling the horses as both loved and hated, the dichotomy between her emotions and experiences, and her reason for attempting to reconcile them, becomes clear. The speaker's life is steadfastly comprised of these various "horses" and by uniting them, a whole sense of self can be achieved. While these last lines do not provide a resolution in the typical sense, an answer can be found in the lack of resolve: both the loved and hated aspects of her life intertwine to create simply that: her life.
Harjo's poem is a gorgeously depicted portrait of a life that has left a woman with an insurmountable pile of contradictory emotions and experiences. With both literal and metaphoric descriptions, Harjo uses the "horses" within the female speaker to relate these personal nuances. These feelings seem to revolve around a common struggle between fragility and strength, "destruction" and "resurrection," truth and lies, and love and hate.
The female speaker's persona is subtly evident throughout the poem but is broadly revealed in the lines that claim "She had horses who tried to save her, who climbed in her / bed at night and prayed as they raped her." However, while the voice of the poem is distinctly feminine, the horses she describes are not assigned to a specific gender. They seem to be spiritual relics of the speaker's soul and experiences and take on various meanings that are not necessarily male or female. They range from southwestern images, to liars, to shy introverts: "She had horses who were the blue air of sky," "She had horses who lied," "She had horses who were much too shy and kept quiet / in stalls of their own making." In this sense, the horses seem to be preserved emotions and memories that relate direct truths about the speaker. While the horses tend to be shrouded in metaphor, the ideas behind them are clear: the speaker is a woman who has perpetually struggled with her idea of self-worth, confidence, and identity. The contradictions she presents are evident in these back-to-back lines: the horses within her "spit at male queens who made / them afraid of themselves. /She had horses who said they weren't afraid." In nearly every stanza the speaker seems to bounce between the idea of being strong ("She had horses who thought they were the sun") and being weak ("She had horses who were much too shy"), being hidden ("She had horses who whispered in the dark, who were afraid to speak") and being revealed ("She had horses who called themselves, 'horse'").
The last lines of the poem condense this contradicting struggle into three short yet potent lines. By effectively labeling the horses as both loved and hated, the dichotomy between her emotions and experiences, and her reason for attempting to reconcile them, becomes clear. The speaker's life is steadfastly comprised of these various "horses" and by uniting them, a whole sense of self can be achieved. While these last lines do not provide a resolution in the typical sense, an answer can be found in the lack of resolve: both the loved and hated aspects of her life intertwine to create simply that: her life.
I thought your idea of the gender of the horses (or lack there of) had good support. The line you used to back that up really represents the neutrality of the horses.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paige. The gender of the horses was a struggle for me to interpret. Although we do not have the same interpretation, you supported your argument with many examples. I do believe that the female speaker had a love-hate relationship with herself. The line "the speaker is a woman who has perpetually struggled with her idea of self-worth, confidence, and identity" really struck me because, not only is it a good observation, but it also supports what you said about the horses having no gender.
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